Who: Frank Ruggerio (Marvel RPG)

What: A human with mind-controlled liquid metal exosuit. Basically a rip-off of the T-1000 and Venom.

Deeds: Once teamed with a 16-foot-tall humanoid wooly mammoth, which subsequently died from starvation because it couldn't figure out how to open a door. Frank also teamed with the worst ninja ever who, when under the scrutiny of the local police, tried to allay their suspicion by declaring, "I am not a ninja!"

Who: Ironhoof (Marvel RPG)

What: Super-powered human in a ridiculous horse suit. Can run real fast and smack you with his nasty hoof gauntlets.

Deeds: Died a glorious death when one his teammates, a cosmically-powered turtle, lost track of said power and exploded, killing the entire team.

Who: Sir Udo Fledermaus

What: Cavalier, level 11, human (neutral good)

Deeds: Faced and defeated the Mirror Of Your Momma, a horrific device that pits you against an inhumanly strong version of your own mother. Also had an affair with a mentally unstable cleric, who was quickly dumped when he found the object of his long, tortuous quest: the elusive Uberfrau.

Who: Jergen Fledermaus

What: Fighter/Thief, level 14/14, high elf (neutral good). The adopted brother of Udo.

Deeds: Fancies himself more of a crime fighter and vigilante than a mercenary, and prefers to dwell at night. Was a key player in the bust of a halfling prostitution ring, and made a hefty profit selling trolls back their own severed limbs. Was the first person ever to describe himself as "goth".

Who: Frederick Ericson, the gay barbarian.

What: Level 16 Barbarian, human (chaotic good)

Deeds: Sent a shockwave through the barbarian community when asked why he didn't partake in the raping part of "rape and pillage", and was the reason for the barbarian's "don't ask don't tell" policy. Led a long, bloody campaign against the frost giants after they murdered his brother and called Frederick's outfit "tacky".

Who: Trillson Woodly Faargh

What: Level 15 Ranger, wood elf (chaotic good)

Deeds: The short-tempered, humorless Trillson provided endless entertainment for his troll enemies that dwelled in the forest he was sworn to protect. At one point they figured out how to mimic the tracks of exotic creatures and would fool Trillson into following the fake trails to various traps and embarrassing situations. Finally he caught the trolls in the act and killed them.

Who: Lilith Coborel

What: Level 18 Transmuter, human (lawful neutral)

Deeds: The raven-haired, broom-riding Lilith returned to the village of Candor (where she grew up) and volunteered to be its protector. Her greatest feat was ridding the village outskirts of its numerous land fills, which angered a small army of shit-eating otyughs -- who then invaded the village and tried to destroy its newfangled sewage system. After a long, foul-smelling battle, Lilith emerged victorious.

Who: Orin Wetterschneider

What: Level 20 Cavalier, human (lawful evil)

Deeds: Always a brilliant bastard, Orin made a fortune during the human/orc wars by switching sides whenever one would start to lose and become more desperate. In the end he helped the humans win, because they were a better prospect for future work. He's currently dating a succubus.

Who: Ichi Tung, The Love Monk.

What: Level 8 monk, human (lawful neutral)

Deeds: Disappointed by the evil and death that plagued the lands, Ichi decided to do something about it. He adopted the mantra of "Love or Die" and waged a campaign of terror against any monsters, thugs, or grouches that he came across. His favorite tactic was to offer his opponents a hug and, when they accepted, would squeeze and crush their ribcage.

Who: Xarann, "She who does not need clothes"

What: Level 15/15 Fighter/Psionic (lawful neutral)

Deeds: Xarann has sworn her allegiance to the god Anubis, and thus spends much of her time battling tomb thieves and undead abominations. An accomplished psionic, Xarann is able to convert her skin to armor and her arms into weapons; a handy trick for fooling her opponents into underestimating the unarmed, bikini-clad warrior. She's also a three-time winner of the "Best Abs In Egypt" contest.

Who: Wolfgang Heinrich

What: Level 16 Cleric, human (neutral good)

Deeds: Wolfgang spent ten years tracking down a trio of halfling anti-paladins known as the Venomfoot Brothers, who murdered his pious brethren while he was off fishing. When at last he caught up to the villains, Wolfgang's party was amazed that halfling anti-paladins even existed. The battle was long and bloody, but eventually Rectus, Dweezil and Goyder were all defeated.

Who: William Fang, "The black spirit that beats up people".

What: Level 9 Fighter, human shade (neutral)

Deeds: As a shade, William prefers to operate in twilight and darkness. He developed his own fighting style, "Black Snake", and makes a living as a mercenary. A notorious womanizer, he got himself into serious trouble when he copulated with the drunk daughter of a wood elf noble, and subsequently spent many years fighting off elvish assassins and all manner of elf-friendly woodland creatures.

Who: Soone Malmfax, "Spider-boy of the Tulgey Wood."

What: Level 7 Fighter, Drow (neutral evil)

Deeds: Soone escaped from the evil, subterranean drow cities at a young age because he longed to torment the surface world. He spent years raising a posse of giant spiders to assist him in robberies and mercenary work, but after a while he found his arachnid companions to be dull. He adventures with evil beings whenever possible, and usually keeps a giant spider around to watch his back.

Who: Maya Veladorn

What: Level 18/18 Fighter/Thief, Drow (chaotic neutral)

Deeds: Maya is another drow expatriate and makes her living relieving the rich from their burden of wealth. Her fancy-free lifestyle is occasionally interrupted by drow agents that want her dead, including a monstrous spider that once took a town's entire militia to repel. Her greatest professional rival is a halfling thief named Slaptoes, who she often has to outwit (and occasionally team up with) to accomplish her goals.

Who: The Un-named One

What: Level 25/25/25 Fighter/Psionic/Ninja, human (neutral)

Deeds: Possibly the dumbest character ever created. He's so overloaded with skills that he's nearly impossible to beat by anyone but the strongest beings from the outer planes. Still, his group was involved in a huge battle with the demon lord Orcus, and three rounds into the fight his teammate managed to land a "disintegrate" spell on the demon lord, who failed all of his many saving throws and resistance checks. It was a fitting end to a stupid campaign, and the last time I played D&D.